Christmas chat

I hope you have enjoyed my posts so far. Today's one is a little different. Instead of some makeup or Christmas related post I just fancied writing. I mean it's still kind of Christmas related, but it's not the one with a lot of pictures.

I have to say I have had quite love-hate relationship with Christmas, some years I'm super excited and then others I don't care really. Obviously then you're little child you absolutely love it and it's just the best time of the year. Everything looks and sounds intresting and it's in general really enjoyable time of the year. 

And then comes the time you then you realize half of your life has been a lie and there's not as much magic in life as you thought. After the day you realized Father Christmas doesn't exist - Christmas are never same again. I mean it didn't made me hate Christmas, but Christmas Eve wasn't the same. There wasn't as much exaitment as before. 

Then came my teenage years and my parents divorced. Thinking about it now - it wasn't that bad, but it was still a hugh life change for me. After my parents divorced I started to dislike Christmas, because eventhough neither of them had pressure on me or my brother with who we spend Christmas Eve (in Estonia Christmas Eve is the main day of Christmas - the day everyone gather together and enjoy spending time with their family and also in the evening we exchange presents), but I still felt bad then I had chosen one of them. Those were the days then I didn't enjoy Christmas at all. All of my friends got excited, but I just hoped it'll be over as soon as possible. 

After getting older I didn't worry as much about hurting my parents kind of choosing between them (eventhough I know they didn't take it as dramatically as I did), but I still wasn't keen on Christmas. It was because for the most people Christmas is super important because of the presents. Christmas is become into a one of the most materialistic holiday in the world. I'm not religious either, but still. First of all they worry about buying all of the presents, then they complain about wrapping them up and then they are affraid other person won't like it. Also  more expensive gifts better and in generally more of them even better. Honestly Christmas shouldn't be all about the gifts, it should be spending time together with the most important people in your life.

Two years ago - so in 2014 Christmas I all of the sudden started to enjoy Christmas again. I was able to watch past all of that materialistic part of Christmas. In 2015 I was looking forward for Christmas time and I absolutely enjoyed it. I was super excited throughout the December and absolutely loved it. There's still something magical about December and Christmas time. People starts to get their Christmas spirit and everyone is generally more calm and positive. 

However eventhough I can feel all of it this year as well, but in some reason I'm not excited. In some reason it just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. At the same time writing all of these blog posts have made me feel so good. So this year I feel so and so. Hopefully the closer we get to the Christmas even more Christmas spirit comes into me. 

Let me know your thoughts about Christmas. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx